Sometimes, we open a jewelry box to remove a piece, only to find a tangled mess of chains, watches, and bracelets. This is how our memories and emotions can become when we experience hurt from a friend. That’s when finding healing from unhealthy relationships becomes critical.

The Tangle of Unforgiveness

We have all been in that occasional bad relationship or had hurt feelings from a spouse, friend, or family member. We may have even been in an abusive relationship. These feelings can run deep with memories that replay repeatedly in our minds.

Marooning us in time, these memories make us unable to move on and can serve as triggers in other relationships. Clinging to resentment, pain, offense, and bitterness can become shackles that bind and hold us captive, making it impossible to function as God designed us.

The Freedom of Forgiveness

But a way out exists, and God calls it forgiveness. Forgiveness is not condoning wrong or evil, blindly trusting, or returning to an abusive relationship. Instead, it is letting go of debt, leaving that person in God’s hands, and freeing ourselves of all that keeps us captive. This is the way to healing. When we forgive, we remove ourselves from the judge’s seat.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

~Matthew 6:14-15 ESV

Like the tangled chains in the jewelry box, unforgiveness entangles our hearts, souls, minds, and memories with the person who has offended, hurt, or traumatized us. But God, through our forgiveness of others, will untangle and free us.

Through this freedom of forgiveness, we can receive healing for our hearts, souls, and memories. God is the only one who can separate our pain from our memories. And when we ask Him, He will do it. Once He does, healing occurs.

He [the Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

~Psalm 147:3 ESV

Share a time when you forgave someone. Let this remind you of Jesus’s forgiveness, which you did not deserve.

Heavenly Father, You taught me to pray, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” You have forgiven me of many things, and You ask me to forgive those who wound me. I ask You to forgive me for my unforgiveness and heal my heart. I give You those who have offended and wounded me. Bless them, change their hearts, and bring healing to them as well. You are a good, loving Father who does not treat me as my sins deserve. Thank You for healing and restoration. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2019: Finding Healing from Unhealthy Relationships: Stephanie Pavlantos: All Rights Reserved