Julie Souza Bradley Lilly : Holy Unfairness
Through love serve one another.~Galatians 5:13b
We rarely had sweets in the house during my childhood.
My mom occasionally brought home a Hostess fruit pie for me to share with my brother. One of us would cut it in half. Then the other got the first pick of the piece they wanted. You can bet that pie was cut into two even pieces.
As humans, we crave balance and fairness. While the desire to fairly cut a pie in two may be clever parenting, expectation of fairness, evenness, and symmetry in all relationships is a recipe for trouble.
When we look at nature, we see symmetry is not the rule, but the exception. No two snowflakes are the same nor are two trees or mountains symmetrical. In our bodies, every fingerprint is different, and most of us have a dominant hand, foot, and eye.
We accept our own imbalances, but grace for unevenness dries up when it comes to others.
In relationships, whether business, friendships, family, or our marriage, we expect both parties to do their fair share of the work, effort, and giving. Unmet expectations lead to resentment and breakdown of relationships.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.~Mark 10:45 NIV
Consider Jesus’ example of how we can remedy relationship health. He loved and pursued us first and took it upon Himself to pay for all our sins. He gave up everything to give us everything. Oh, the wonder and the beauty of this holy unfairness.
Let’s follow His example. Let’s be in relationships with the expectation of carrying the lion’s share–with the Lord our primary partner as our helper. That mindset delights us when our secondary partner only carries twenty percent and is overjoyed when we carry forty percent. Our gratefulness for God’s help will knit our hearts together with theirs and the Lord.
What percentage of holy unfairness are you willing to give?
Father God, thank You for carrying the full load for the penalty of my sins. Change my heart to consider others more highly than myself and to release them from the crushing weight of human expectations. Give me a love, especially for serving my family, and an appreciation for every bit of help they offer, not just the portion above fifty percent. In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
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