Darkness of the Soul

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

~John 1:5 NIV

I drove along a curved coastal freeway as the sinking sun reddened the glassy ocean in the distance. Darkness engulfed my soul as evening closed in. I wasn’t defying the darkness. 

I had nowhere to sleep that night except in my car, which was an embarrassment in itself. A massive dent I couldn’t afford to fix marred the passenger side door. At least the forecast didn’t call for showers. Water leaked inside when it rained.

Sad Memories Surface

Sad memories piled into a hopeless heap like my belongings slumped in black plastic trash bags in the back seat. Years of chaos and dysfunction had worn me down. I felt lost in a world of people who seemed to have it all together. Jobs. College degrees. A home. Solid relationships. None of which I had at the moment. The ease of taking my life taunted me. No one would miss me or care if I drove off the freeway’s edge.

I barely noticed the rumble strips warning me to pay attention as I negotiated the curve. Suddenly, the ringtone from my cell phone jolted me from my daze, and I swerved back onto the road.

The Phone Call

Answering my phone, terrified of what I had almost done, a friend discerned I was not okay. As we spoke, my shaken voice told him he needed to act. As he became aware of my situation, he offered to put me up at a hotel for the evening so I could rest. I welcomed his offer.

Shifting my grip on the steering wheel, I steered away from contemplating the worst and toward sleep instead. Crawling into bed with puffy eyes, a light shining through the blinds of my pitch-black hotel room caught my attention. It was as if hope in the form of light reached between the gaps to remind me that no amount of suffering could darken my life enough to prevail against God’s plans for me.

God’s Plan

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. . . . But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light.

~John 3:19, 21a NIV

Jesus is the creator and sustainer of our life. He gives us the illumination we need because darkness exists. We need to see things as they are. Darkness will never overcome the light of Jesus. God loves us so much that when He foresaw the sin and suffering that would darken and distort our lives, He chose to create us anyway because He wants us and has a plan for us.

Some of your greatest blessings will emerge from hardships, detaching you from what holds you back from freely living and loving Him. There will be a time when God will wipe every tear from your eyes, and you will live pain-free. Until then, He will use the troubles that have infested your life to transform you into the person He created you to be.

What hardships are holding you back from freely loving Jesus?

Lord Jesus, I ask You to help me navigate situations in my life that are hindering my relationship with You. Help me to gain enough clarity to move forward in Your plan and purpose. Amen.

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2024: Defying the Darkness: Brandie Muncaster: All Rights Reserved