Brandie J. Muncaster: Choosing Friends Carefully
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked lead them astray.~Proverbs 12:26 NIV
Pregnant and thirty-three years old, I left California and moved 2600 miles across the country with my husband and two-year-old for my husband’s job.
Within our first year and a half of living in North Carolina, my husband got a position with a different company, we built a house, and I gave birth to Irish twins. So, of course, it goes without saying that I did not have many friends where we lived. Navigating the uncharted waters of choosing new companions when I lived somewhere new was complicated, especially with all I had going on. However, throughout that season, I learned the importance of being prayerful, careful, and intentional about choosing the right kind of people to confide in.
Choosing friends takes time, patience, and much prayer. George Washington once said, “Be courteous to all but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” We don’t know someone well until we’ve had deep conversations with them, experienced their reaction when there’s a conflict, or seen their response when we’ve drawn a healthy boundary in the relationship.
Likewise, Colossians 3:13 NIV says, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” Although it may take time to foster quality friendships and find friends that have good character, the wait is worth it. Of course, there may be some casualties along the way, but have no fear. Sometimes, wading through the waves of trial and error helps us figure out what attributes we are looking for.
If finding good friendships has been as complicated for you as it has been for me, please don’t be discouraged. Hold on to hope that you will find the connected friendships you desire. Grieve the loss of company you’ve kept in the past that didn’t match the characteristics you wanted. Next, make a list of attributes you are looking for. Some examples of the qualities I look for are good character, similar core values, and depth. In addition, I look for someone who is grounded in their faith, is not easily offended, and is self-aware.
Are you in a season of life where you find yourself wanting a solid friend or two? Ask God to send a few that match the qualities you value. Chances are, you will be surprised and ever grateful for how He responds to your prayer.
Do you have a best friend you treasure? Thank God for them.
Lord Jesus, thank You for providing the right friends at the right time, and thank You for being my friend as well. Amen.
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