Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

The Challenge

I knew I needed to lay it on the altar, but I couldn’t.

Hair dryer. Check. Extra clothes. Check. Extra medicine. Check. Extra everything. Check.

I lugged my heavy blue suitcase through the airport terminal. On my back was a green, camping backpack with two changes of clothes, a rain jacket, towel, bar of soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, journal, pen, Bible, and toilet paper. I checked the heavy blue bag with the airline representative and ventured through the airport security line.

When my plane landed in China, I dragged my heavy suitcase off the conveyor belt and heaved it into the taxi’s trunk. Our home base for the next five weeks was a missionary’s residence in Kunming, where I set my blue bag in a corner.

The next morning’s instructions were clear: “Only carry what you can handle on your back for eight hours or more a day. Only the necessities because no one wants to carry your stuff and theirs.”

For five weeks, I lived out of my green backpack. I learned how to wash my body, hair, and clothes with only a bar of soap. Bathing only happened occasionally, so I became well acquainted with wearing clothes several days in a row. No flushing toilets availed themselves, only squatty potties.

Life became simple out of necessity. The load I carried in my bag had to be manageable as we spent most of the days hiking up mountains to remote villages. It’s amazing how light the load can become when we intentionally shed items we no longer consider essential.

Recently, I have allowed my emotional shoulders to resemble the blue suitcase. Therefore, I’ve spent months shoving everything I thought necessary into this extremely full, emotional duffle bag. Stress. Anxiety. Fear. Worry. Control. Lots of control. And lots more control. Unknown outcomes. Expectations. Guilt.

These heavy weights have pressed in from every side, and my outlook has grown foggy. A sadness I couldn’t shake hung over every activity I was involved in. Finally, the load became too much, and I was tired of having no joy.

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

~Psalm 15:22 ESV

The Relief

A dear counselor and friend firmly said, “You’re laying it all on the altar, but you aren’t leaving it there. Stop picking it back up and let Jesus carry it for you.” She was right.

But sometimes I don’t like the way God works all things out for His good, and I think He needs a little advice—my advice. I’ll admit I have major control issues, and I feel the need to attempt to control outcomes and situations that are completely out of my purview. And the more I fight to retain my grip, the greater my discontent and sadness.

After several days of wrestling, I decided to leave my blue suitcase on the altar. For real. No more taking it back. No more carrying that load—and everyone else’s for that matter.

Life became simple again out of necessity. Even though my world is spinning out of control with waiting and unknowns at every level, my load is light again because I’m not carrying it anymore. God is.

Joy is returning. Hope is blooming again. And even though I am constantly fighting the need to control everything, I find myself stopping in the middle of chaos, and whispering, “I trust you, God.”

It’s amazing how light the load can become when we intentionally shed an item we no longer find essential. We just have to lay it down and leave it there.

What do you need to lay on the altar?

Dear Jesus, I’m carrying burdens needlessly. So, please teach me how to trust You enough to lay them at Your feet and leave them there. Amen.

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2024: Lay It on the Altar: Christy Bass Adams: All Rights Reserved