Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

~Psalm 127:3 ESV

I left my heart in room 418.

The Separation

My oldest son begins eighth grade in a few weeks. I blinked. Now he’s an inch taller than me, his voice is deep, and his feet could double as canoes. But no matter how old he gets, I will see him as my little boy and remember that first day without him by my side.

I just stood there as the door closed behind me. Honestly, I felt lost. For four years, we had done life together. We experienced every new thing side by side. I heard his first word and applauded his first step. We spent countless hours mastering the potty. I watched him eat ice cream for the first time and go to his first movie. We read books, baked cookies, built forts, dug for dinosaur bones, and chased chickens. I stood outside and fought tears as he attended his first Sunday of “big boy class” at church. I entertained countless questions and never-ending conversations about trains, tractors, and trucks. We did almost every day together.

Until the day I watched him excitedly waltz into his new classroom. He never whined or cried. He kissed me goodbye, sat down in his seat, and played with the other kids. I wanted to stay and be a fly on the wall. Desperately I longed to watch him soak in the newness of this giant first in his life. Deep down, I knew he needed to do it alone, so I peeked over my shoulder one last time.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

~Proverbs 22:6 ESV

Don’t get me wrong, I am glad he felt at home, but part of me wanted him to need me a little more. I waited for the call that he was crying uncontrollably for Mama, but it never came. He did fine without me and couldn’t wait to go back and do it all again.

The Pain

Even as I write this, the tears I experienced fall. I knew that day was coming, and I prepared him to be ready, but I never imagined how difficult it would be for me.

We snuggled for about an hour that night, and he told me everything about his day. Then, he lit up as he shared about coloring shapes and playing with his new friends. Excitedly he threw his hands up as he described the slides and other outside and inside toys. He sang one of the new songs he learned and leaned close as he told me he even got to dance.

“F has two little lines and a big one,” he told me, “and a P has a big line and a curve. Then there’s that letter that goes up and down and up and down and makes that mmm sound.”

His face danced with joy as he talked about everything he had learned and done. He was even excited that he got to lie down with all his friends and take a nap.

The Trust

Everything was made right as I stood at the gate and waited for my little man. When his class rounded the corner, my gaze met his, and without missing a beat, he came running to meet me. I wrapped my arms around my not-so-little-anymore boy and held him tightly.

My heart made it home.

Think of ways you can equip your kids and grandkids to be ready for what’s next.

Father, give us wisdom to raise our children and grandchildren in Your ways and then turn them over to You. Amen. 

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2024: I Left My Heart in Room 418: Christy Bass Adams: All Rights Reserved