Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

~Philippians 2:3 ESV

Perhaps we have heard of the little boy who cut the cocoon of an emerging butterfly to lessen its struggle and ended up killing it. We Christians can show compassion to others without balancing some painful truths. When we do, we end up hurting others. Paul’s attitude is the antithesis of entitlement.

To the entitled, we are not a person but a provider. They no longer have time for us if we cease to be their spiritual, emotional, or financial benefactor. Although they may claim to have our best interests at heart, when the chips are down, they operate on the principle of what is in it for them. The entitled are takers instead of givers.

Entitled people are also expert purveyors of guilt. They are uncomfortable when we place reasonable boundaries around ourselves, but have no problem building extensive borders around their lives to make it more comfortable for them. The entitled have a grand deception. They can see selfishness in our lives but not in their own.

Wanting to love and serve is honorable, but we cannot meet everybody’s needs all the time. Service should be in obedience to God’s will and call. A need does not always necessitate a call. Needy people often turn from adoration to deep resentment when they realize we are not their answer. They will play the guilt card and accuse us of not caring for them. Trying to fix entitled people is difficult. David Jeremiah said, “Change takes humility, and entitlement is the worst enemy of humility.”

A Bible teacher friend of mine says an entitled person will often have a “leak in their love bucket.” The more caring and love we invest in them, the more they need. They look to us to fulfill needs that only God can provide. Therefore, we will wear ourselves out trying to meet those needs. The most loving thing we can do is to say “No. I cannot satisfy all your needs.” Continuing in that kind of relationship is not love but enabling a problem.

As Christians, we should be compassionate and long-suffering, but saying no to entitled people may be best for you and them.

Let God teach you when to say yes and when to say no.

Father, teach me to love as You do, but also teach me when to say no. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2025: Entitled: Ken Barnes: All Rights Reserved