One little match can do the opposite in two different scenarios.

While growing up, we had a fireplace in the house. My dad made perfect fires, and the house was filled with warmth and contentment. I was fascinated that a three-inch slim stick could bring so much heat. But a fire can also bring pain and devastation when not controlled or when ignited in the wrong place. Matches have one purpose: to conduct fire. A match must make friction with another surface to ignite. Then, it can release the phosphate and chlorate chemicals that create a flame. The fire is already there; it just needs to be ignited.

Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

~1 Corinthians 7:1 NASB

I once thought the above verse only described a woman’s physical touch, but when I looked up the word “touch,” one definition was “to ignite.” When I thought about igniting, I correlated it to something flammable that, when ignited, will burn as a match does. Often, men don’t realize what they ignite when they have personal conversations with women because the inward flame is not seen. Emotionally, however, we unknowingly ignite a flame. Some never inventory the detrimental impact this has on friends, family, and others.

We men need to think about what we release through our conversations. If we are not ready for the fire-–we should not light the match. As harmless as a conversation may appear, we may not know what transpires in another’s mind.

In the past, I didn’t consider what was happening when I ignited an emotional connection. This is not always the man’s fault, but we should ponder why so many women are frustrated with relationships. After a fire ignites, we can find ourselves in undesirable situations, not knowing how we’ve ended up in the scenario.

We need a biblical view of marriage and a commitment to wholesome relationships. If we are not ready for marriage, we must not ignite the flame. Marriage proposals are only appropriate when the feelings are real. We must be careful about what we say. If we are not sincere, we leave the woman with burning emotions. 

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil.

~Ephesians 5:15-16

We need wisdom in pursuing relationships. Only we know if we are sincere. Feelings can change when one partner feels overwhelmed. We need to communicate with each other. When we don’t, issues grow. This leads to feelings of disappointment with no closure, explanations, or truth.

When we take responsibility for our actions, freedom reigns. Reflecting on our own mistakes allows us to have compassion for those who’ve had their flames ignited and then blown out. God’s forgiveness and mercy can exchange the ashes of our lives for His beauty. Commit your relationships to God. He alone will help you to build purposeful relationships.

Do you want to experience a fresh start with relationships? God is there for you, and His mercy and grace abound.

Lord God, thank You for Your grace that kept me when I was not able to control emotional flames. Thank You for forgiving me for igniting impure relationships through my words and giving me Your mercy to change. I choose to allow Your Holy Spirit to mold me to reflect Your character. Thank You for the strength You give me to fulfill the purposes You have ordained for my life.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Genre: Non-fiction

Copyright 2021: The Danger of an Uncontrolled Flame: Charles E. Maldon, Jr.: All Rights Reserved