It is incredible how one little match can do the opposite in two different scenarios.
Growing up, we had a fireplace in the house. I can remember my dad making these seemingly perfect fires and the house would be full of warmth and contentment. I was fascinated by the fact that a three-inch slim stick was able to bring so much heat to our home. However, it can also be a source of pain and devastation when not controlled, or when it is not ignited in the right place. Matches have one purpose. They are to conduct fire. To ignite a match, it has to make friction with another surface. Then it can release the phosphate and chlorate chemicals to create a flame. The fire that the match releases is already there; it just needs to be ignited.
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.~1 Corinthians 7:1 NASB
I thought the above verse was applicable only to describing a woman’s physical touch for a long time, but when I looked up the word “touch,” one definition stood out, “to ignite.” When I thought about “ignite,” I immediately correlated it to something flammable, that when ignited, will burn, like a match does. Often, we don’t realize what we are igniting when having personal conversations with women, because the inward flame is not seen. Emotionally, however, we unknowingly ignite a flame. Some may never stop and take inventory of the impact this causes to friends, family, and others, to our detriment.
Men, we may think we are just talking, but when we begin a conversation, we need to be mindful about what we release through our conversations. If we are not ready for the fire-–we must not not light the match. As harmless as a conversation may appear, we may not know what is transpiring in another’s mind.
In times past, when I was not walking with Jesus Christ, I didn’t consider what was happening when I ignited an emotional connection. I’m not saying this falls on the man alone. Still, it deserves credence to ponder why so many women are frustrated with relationships. After a fire ignites we can find ourselves in undesirable situations, not knowing how we’ve ended up in the scenario.
We need to ask the question, “Am I ready for marriage?” If the answer is “no,” we must not ignite the flame.~Charles Maldon, author of In the Beginning: Godliness through Marriage
We need to have a solid biblical viewpoint of marriage, and be committed to wholesome relationships, so we must weigh every conversation. We must ask the question, “Am I ready for marriage?” If the answer is “no,” we must not ignite the flame. Maybe a flame does ignite when a man says to a woman, “I want to marry you,” but even this is appropriate only when the feelings are real. We have to be careful about what we say. If we are not sincere, we leave the woman with burning emotions. A match will fade after a few seconds if the flame does not connect to another source, and it will not fulfill its purpose. Likewise, marriage must be our long-term goal.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil.~Ephesians 5:15-16
A match controlled brings warmth, but one ignited with the wrong motives brings devastation. Let’s use wisdom in deciding whether to pursue a relationship. Only you know if you are sincere with where you want the relationship to go. Feelings can change when one partner feels overwhelmed. We need to communicate one to another, but far too often, we don’t say a word, and this allows issues to grow. This leads to feelings of disappointment, with no closure, no explanations, and no truth.
Even as I am writing this, I feel a sense of conviction overshadowing me. I have been that man, where I opened a woman to the uncontrolled flame, and then let it die without purpose. But no longer. I choose accountability to God. When we take responsibility for our actions, freedom reigns in our lives. Reflecting on my own mistakes that I have started, setting blazes, and then not taking responsibility for that which I set, it allows me to have compassion for those burned, who’ve had their flames ignited, and then blown out, and also for our role as men to clearly set godly parameters to the flames we ignite. The good news is, God’s forgiveness and mercy can exchange the ashes of my life and yours for His beauty. Commit your relationships to God; He alone will help you to build purposeful relationships.
Do you want to experience a fresh start, pure, and fulfilled, regarding relationships? God is there for you and His mercy and grace abounds.
Lord God, thank You for Your grace that kept me when I was not able to control emotional flames. Thank You for forgiving me for igniting impure relationships through my words, and giving me Your mercy to change. I choose to allow Your Holy Spirit to mold me to reflect Your character. Thank You for the strength You give me to fulfill the purposes You have ordained for my life.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Copyright 2021: The Danger of an Uncontrolled Flame: Charles E. Maldon, Jr.: All Rights Reserved
Meet Our Contributor
CHARLES E. MALDON, JR.
Charles E. Maldon Jr., is an ordained reverend, speaker, writer and mentor. However, the title he is most proud of is a servant of Christ.
Charles is a devotion/article writer for VineWords: Devotions and More, specializing in the area of marriage, with the goal of helping men improve their marriages.
Charles’s mission in life is to encourage others to know their true value by developing an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ. As the Lord continues to mold him, Charles uses his colorful life experiences, both “good and bad”, as real-life ministry tools. He believes there are treasures to be found in every trial—perspective is everything.
The crux of his writing is to bring others to freedom through authentic transparency. In addition to his writing, Charles is the founder/administrator of Break-Thru Ministries, a men’s ministry which focuses on helping the family, especially men, to become all that Christ created them to be. He enjoys helping men to fulfill their calling in life, relationships, and manhood.
He is currently in the process of revising his book, In the Beginning: Godliness through Marriage. He is a member of the Maryland Writer’s Association and Word Weavers. He also blogs on his ministry page, Break-Thru Ministries, where his hope is to touch someone with the love of Jesus.
Charles is the proud father of two boys and resides in North Carolina with his lovely wife Lekeisha. In his spare time, he enjoys working out, traveling and spending time with his family.
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