So God created man in His own image.~Genesis 1:27a
As I grew from a child to an adult, the message I received was that “I was not okay as I was.” As a result, I tried to act in ways that would somehow acquire the approval and love I desperately longed for. One of these ways I would try to get this approval and love was through perfectionism.
I believed the lie that if I could paint myself as a perfect person, even to the extent of lying about certain things, then I could convince the outside world I was okay when I really wasn’t. Believing that lie led me to tell people things that weren’t true. One thing I lied about was my health. When my High school cheerleading coach asked me if I felt okay after noticing I had lost a lot of weight, I told her everything was fine, even though I was struggling with an eating disorder. This perfectionism guise at its finest for me, was striving to be thin. I hid the truth from my coach because of the shame I felt. I wanted to fit in, and because I thought “looking better” on the outside would somehow make me not feel so broken on the inside.
I pretended to be okay when I wasn’t. Not only was that an unhealthy thing to do, it wasn’t a godly thing to do either.~Brandie J. Muncaster, author of Garden Tales: A Seed’s Story
Eventually, trying to paint myself as a perfect person became a battle in my life I no longer had the energy to fight. The more lies I told, the harder it became to keep track of them. Living in constant terror of slipping up wore on me. Embellishing things to make myself look better because I just “knew” people wouldn’t accept me for who I was, became tiring. I finally reached a point where changing my dysfunctional cycle became necessary, and uncovering the truth of who I was and why I did what I did, was inescapable.
In my recovery, I began to unravel the lies I believed about myself instead of hiding behind them. I got honest about who I was and learned I wasn’t alone. Throughout my process, I discovered I am worthy of love despite my imperfections. In learning how to be genuine, I’ve found that it is easier to be authentic. I also began to experience respect from people when I decided to be honest. Proverbs 13:7 TPT says, “One pretends to be rich but is poor. Another pretends to be poor but is quite rich.” In my case, I pretended to be okay when I wasn’t. Not only was that an unhealthy thing to do, it wasn’t a godly thing to do either.
One pretends to be rich but is poor. Another pretends to be poor but is quite rich.~Proverbs 13:7 TPT
The truth is, it is always better to be who you are and avoid making something that is not the case appear to be true. You don’t have to act in specific ways to acquire the approval and love you deserve. You don’t have to paint yourself as a perfect person for people to accept you for who you are. You don’t have to hide the truth of how you feel so you can fit in, and you don’t have to embellish things to make people like you. You are enough, and you are okay just the way you are.
As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.~Jesus Christ; John 15:9 NKJV
You were created in God’s image. Lean into that truth, and accept His love for you. He must love you a lot, because He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for you and raise again. Reflect on Jesus’s love, and the Father’s, and the Holy Spirit who dwells within you. You are enough for them.
What lies might you believe about yourself that are causing you to not be genuine in certain areas of your life? How does knowing God accepts and created you unravel these perceptions?
Lord Jesus, please forgive me for not being who You created me to be. Thank You that I don’t have to act, be, or look a certain way to be accepted and loved by You. Please help me to identify any areas of my life where I am not being genuine, so I can begin to heal and recover from any unhealthy mindsets. With Your help, I will become whole.
Copyright 2021: The Truth About Perfectionism: Brandie J. Muncaster: All Rights Reserved
Meet Our Contributor
BRANDIE J. MUNCASTER
Brandie J. Muncaster’s passion for writing is fueled from her desire to help people discover what it means to live and walk in their true identity in the Lord Jesus Christ. As someone who has known the powerful transforming work of God in her own life, she is passionate about seeing others experience the same. Through prayer, and applying the Word, she ministers the love of God.
Brandie is a devotion writer for VineWords: Devotions and More and Kingdom Winds.
She is the author of the children’s book Garden Tales: A Seed’s Story. Her work-in-progress is a memoir entitled A Story of Redemption, where she shares how God has brought inner healing through His Word.
Brandie is a conference speaker. She has ministered at Life Potential for Women Conference hosted by Jozel Kale and Luke Laffin; Forest Hill Church Women of Valor Conference hosted by Marilyn Chadwick and Stacey Martin; Southbrook Church Rooted Conference, and Southbrook Church Live Out Loud Event, both conferences hosted by Kathy Johnston; and other venues.
She is a member of Word Weavers of Charlotte; Hope Writer’s Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and Kingdom Winds Collective.
She and her husband have three children. She enjoys spending time her children playing sports, or visiting the coast or the mountains. Brandie enjoys reading, painting, running, and homesteading. She resides in Charlotte, NC.
CONNECT WITH BRANDIE MUNCASTER AT